we don't know.

i got a late start on saturday morning. and it took me all of the three hours i expected it might. but i finished my 18 mile run, and i wasn't in too bad of shape, considering. my left thigh started to get a little sore, and then the muscle above the inside of my left ankle started to hurt. so the last two miles were pretty uncomfortable. but it really didn't hurt bad enough to stop running, and the one time i considered it, i reminded myself that i had 8 more miles to go to finish the race. i finished in 3:04 (10:13), which is a little slower than i had hoped. i think i sped up a little around 10 or 12 miles, and that made the difference.

when i hit the 17 mile marker, i envisioned it as the 25.2 mile point. the last mile was a lot easier, mentally, knowing that i was coming to the end of a grueling run. but it is sobering to think that in two weeks i will run my longest training run, and that i will still be 6.2 miles short of the total distance. that's an entire hour at my marathon pace. it is not insignificant, even if it is a fractional length of the race.

****

i was telling a friend at work whom i haven't seen in a while about my training. i showed him the schedule of long-runs, starting with 6 miles on june 20. and i was struck by how amazing this training has been. i told him that i had no idea what my body was capable of doing until i did it. i had no idea what i am capable of doing with a good plan and some applied effort. i'd like to believe i'm reasonably athletic, but i don't think there's anything special about me. i think this thought really applies to everyone. so i'll say it again.

we have no idea what we are capable of doing with a good plan and some applied effort.

i don't know if anyone other than my parents read this blog, but i think it's an important idea to put out into the world. it took me until i was 25 to realize i didn't have to be overweight. it took me until i was 25 to reach my point where i couldn't continue lying to myself about my weight, my appearance, and how i eat. it took me until i was 25 to overcome family influence and habit. it took me until i was 25 to have the discipline to do what is right without making excuses.

in that respect, i suppose this training is a microcosm of what i've already been able to accomplish in my life. at the same time, it feels bigger and greater. i'm never finished. there is always more i can do, always more i should do. now that i've established a new paradigm for living, i'm exploring the limit. i suspect i'm nowhere near my peak, and in that respect, i'm still at the beginning.

i have no idea what i'm capable of doing.

for that reason, i have to keep working. and it starts with finishing this marathon.

robb.